Trip Mckenzie and the deep cutting razor

I haven't shaved for years. Funny that I should be dreaming of just that.

My face used to be frictionless in its smoothness, it quite possibly still is. My subconscious seemed to be interested in finding out. Which is not an unreasonable thing for it to wonder, not perhaps a particularly sublime or noteworthy wondering, out of the blue but not unreasonable.

Except it all goes wrong. Thank god it is just a dream, at least those scars don't show.

The razor is stuck deep into my skin, however hard I tug at it it won't come out. Blood comes out though, goddamn that ain't a problem. The more I tug the more blood flows out. I must mention that in this dream my blood does not spurt. This is no cheap samurai movie, my subconscious is quite able to keep hold of the concepts of coagulation and surface tension. Maybe it clings to these concepts a little too hard, what with the blood managing to achieve the kind of cohesion only witnessed in Star Trek VI with Christian Slater. But still, no Samurai spurting. Samurai's are pretty cool though. Aren't they? Maybe not Ninja Turtles but not bad nonetheless.

So I have this razor stuck deep into my upper lip, an acceptable thing to bite but not to jam a razor into. The gelatinous blob of blood is growing inexorably (Lovecraft hurrah) and I am growing gradually fainter, verging on unconsciousness. Which is itself a funny thing, since I am already unconscious, what with being in a dream and all. (and it certainly isn't a lucid one or I would have got rid of this bloody razor by now.)

Seems that I have removed the razor now. My subconscious consciousness understands what happened now, somehow I sliced so deep that the plastic casing for the razor blade got lodged under the flap of skin, yet the opening was only the size of the razor blade. So no matter how hard I tugged it was not moving, not without the skin being torn anyways. The answer was found in some complicated ritual of well whatever... its only a dream.

I also dreamt about Carl Kennedy from Neighbours. Go figure.

You know I used to have the most amazing dreams.

Did I ever tell you about Kingsville...