How the hell do you write anything?
You feel like running around your mind are a myriad of interesting and worthwhile ideas, concepts, perspectives. Fuck... now I think about it I don't even have a clue what I think is in my head.
Now that is a new problem. Usually I am busy concentrating on the lack of inspiration and the failure to grasp an idea when I feel that it is time to write something down. Now when I think about it I am not even sure what ideas there are or what grounds there is for inspiration. A receptacle for inspiration you would think might have some quality about it that would earn it that label. I do not have an idea what quality I could define my mind by, so how could it be a worthy receptacle of inspiration?
Of course this is all entirely the wrong way to approach these things anyway. To search for inspiration, particularly to search inward, to try to produce when you have nothing to produce about, nothing to produce for.This is without doubt an enterprise that is bound to failure. Unfortunately when nothing better is coming to you it seems the only thing to do.
What should I write about, if I was to go at this in a more positive and active manner, what would I pick to write about.
Perhaps the issues of faith vs. reason that are currently a hot topic in the press and which without doubt I find interesting and worthy of debate, consideration. Then again when my thoughts on the subject, no matter how much detail it is possible to engage, amount to little more than 'everyone is an idiot' it wouldn't seem like I have that much to add to any debate. You could just watch South Park for that argument. They are funny too.
Ok, so something inward, a creative idea. How about the 1-way spiral, reflections, shadows and other images of oneself. Walking through a city of cardboard buildings, the starry void surrounding everything and threatening to impinge upon your limited world with every step. I certainly have some interesting ideas and concepts to explore down this road. But I have no idea what any of it is about, what is the point to any of them? Aimless flights of fantasy and depression.
So let us take a similar line of thought, perhaps I could explore some ideas I had a year or two ago about the nature of reality and ourselves. It sounds redundant and cliched, but I was onto something interesting back then, something new and something that a large part of me begins to belief has meaning and truth. Except that is the problem, because that part of me was also driving me into an extremely unstable mindset; beginning to believe my own theories which place me at odds with the world. So probably not the best path to go down right now.
How about I just write about my life. Write what you know and all that. Except my life essentially consists of sitting in cafes listening to other peoples more interesting stories yet thinking that the majority of those people are still boring and lifeless.
How about how boring and lifeless people are... yeah. That would be a fun read. Enlightening as well I am sure. Or perhaps I could take the opposite tack and write about the people who are not boring and lifeless, the people that inspire me or are just good company.
You know... thats not a bad idea. Try to focus sometimes upon the things in the world that actually do lead to inspiration and joy, which make life a thing of beauty.
Perhaps I do have a good idea.
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